As women we so often put our own needs last serving everyone around us while our own buckets run completely dry. There is a fine line between being selfish and caring for ourselves. I know like so many others my bucket was empty and I had no idea how to fill it- and then I learned!!
I went to therapy. I'm not ashamed to admit I couldn't figure out how to handle the worry and anxiety that was taking over my life-literally taking it over. Not a day went by that I didn't worry about something horrible happening to my children or husband. These worries became stories in my mind that I couldn't control. They would take me to dark places throughout the day that I couldn't escape from and finally I grew tired of it.
Yoga was the eye opener that made me realize life for me could be different. I felt so free and peaceful on my yoga mat and I knew if I could find a way to carry that feeling into my daily living things would change. The process is slow and sometimes frustrating but it works!!
My therapist was wonderful and had great tools for my anxiety- one of which was walking while being mindful of nature instead of walking and running through the stories in my mind. My three to four times a week of yoga helped to reinforce that I can live a different way. There are so many eternal truths and moral teachings in yoga and no matter what religion a person is those truths still apply. We are all so much more alike that we are different:)
Some of the things I have learned are:
-Our children are gifts to us. Little people that are here to teach us more than we could ever teach them!
-We have taught our children to be independent and true to their beliefs. When we respect their independence and beliefs there is more room for learning.
-The world is full of messages that are just plain destructive to our spirits. Stillness brings us closer to our true spirits and guides us each to the lives we are here to live.
-Time away from my family that is spent healing and rejuvenating my soul benefits everyone. Then when I am present with them I can be more fully in the moment and they can tell the difference.
-When I say I can't do something there is no need for an explanation. People only want an explanation to decide for themselves if my reason for saying no is good enough for them- hence no explanation necessary:)
-Yoga makes my spirit feel alive!! It is my passion and I am going to use that passion to become a yoga teacher! I want to work with others who are bigger like me and teen-age girls who are having a hard time- I'm scared and excited all at the same time:)
-I have learned to live more fully in daily life. Before, I wanted to control everything because it made me feel safe. I have accepted that so much is out of my control but living each day to the fullest is one of the few things I can control- that and the madness of my mind:)
For the last few years I have chosen a word of intention. I believe for this coming year my word will be HOPE- for the first time since I can remember I feel like having hope will not crush me. It will all be okay or as my beautiful friend likes to say- All is Well!!
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