I love this kid...

 I love when Hayden and Koa play music together!!  Michael gave Hayden his first guitar and mentored him whenever they were together and from a distance.  It warms my heart to watch him play:)

Christmas Emotion...

I'm so glad my kids still believe in Santa!! I know it can't last much longer but I don't want to let it go.  I've been thinking about my own childhood lately.  Marah is now the age that I was when my dad left our family on Christmas Day- I can't help but wonder how that would change her if that happened to her and how did it change me when it actually did happen to me.

I believe this is when I became a worrier.  As the oldest child I 'm sure I felt a responsibility to take care of my mom, my brother, and my baby sister.  I know that Autumn would do this- she is the oldest child of the little peeps.  I feel a sadness for the little girl that was me and how I had to grow up at the age of eight.  I feel gratitude that my kids feel joy and excitement when they think of Christmas.  I feel hopeful that our traditions- as few as they are- will be happy things my kids will remember when they are older.

I feel a kindred spirit in my niece, Ally- it will be her first Christmas without her dad.  I feel her sadness that the world she knew has changed so dramatically.  I feel hope for her because she has my sister who is strong and will guide her through her emotions.  I am grateful that in the short amount of time I have spent with Ally I could feel what a strong, sweet, and bossy little lady she is.  I know in a very real way that she will rise above this early trauma and bring Michael's qualities to the world around her- the good ones:)

The pull to be with my sister is so strong, not only will this be her first Christmas without Michael but also their wedding anniversary.  I want to run to her, hold her, and tell her everything will be fine- and I am surprised that I actually believe it will- I don't know how but I know it will.  I want to take away all of her hurt-if only that were possible!!  Instead, I look forward to February when she and I will get to spend a few days in Seattle together and strengthen each other.

This Christmas holds so much emotion for me and I will say it is exhausting at times.  My word this year was HOPE and I am relieved to report that with all that has happened I do still feel hope.  Hope in a future where grief doesn't overwhelm, hope in the days that anxiety is able to be kept at bay, hope in the sweetness of my little children, hope as I watch my big children find their ways in the world, hope in our marriage that we will continue to find strength and solace in each other, and hope for my sister and her girls that they will realize a new normal that will be filled with laughter, love, peace, and joy!!

Thoughts from an Anxious Mind...

Sleeping is oh so important and unfortunately that importance often goes unrealized until you can't sleep.  I usually wake up at least twice during the night and have been making progress falling back to sleep in a reasonable amount of time.  Last night, however, was not the case...anxiety is indeed real and frustrating especially when it comes in the darkness.  Here's a little peek:)

Why am I awake? How long will it take to go back to sleep?
Why am I hot? Maybe I'm in menopause?
Why does my head hurt? It could be a brain tumor?
Why does my leg feel swollen but not look swollen? Maybe it's cancer?
Where in the hell did I put that stupid Elf on a shelf?
I hate when Ken is working nights!!
Why am I cold? Wasn't I just hot? Maybe I should get up and google this?
NO!! Don't google it only leads to disaster!
I should get up and clean the bathroom-
Just go to your happy place then you'll fall asleep- maybe?
What was that noise?
Maybe we have a burglar, maybe the dog had another seizure?
Seriously, where is that Elf?
One more hour until Ken gets home- I hope I fall back asleep!

I've been reading about how thoughts are just thoughts and they don't need to be given any power- basically just ignore them like they are naughty children.  I find this much easier to do in the daytime- nighttime not so much:)

Tricks and a Few Treats...

Alaska and Halloween equals kids in costumes with no coats freezing their you know whats off!! After about three blocks they decided to come home and hand out candy- they were pretty happy with that decision as were their parents:)

 I can always count on Hayden for one of his infamous faces- he did a great job entertaining us with music during the passing out of candy.

 These three continue to bring such joy to our lives- they get along great and are always looking out for each other.  The girls were way excited about their Monster High Girl costumes and I don't know who was more excited about Jack's new love of Ninja Turtles- Jack or Ken...it reminds him of when our big boys were little.

 Poser number one-

 Poser number two-

 Not such a poser number three-

 The pumpkin festivities- 

 I spent my morning at the neurology clinic trying to get to the bottom of my tingling, burning, and weird sensations in my head.  The doctor was super nice and after doing a weird electric shock type of test called an EMG and ordering an MRI of my brain basically told me that she is pretty certain that it is all anxiety related and not to feel bad that she sees many people in the same predicament.  She understood completely that the body sensations only add to anxiety and ordered the MRI just to be safe and give me peace of mind.  I called the therapist Whitney suggested and am going to start EMDR therapy which involves using eye movements during the therapy to help the brain move through the trauma- seriously!!!!!!!

Tricky times filled with lots of treats- LIFE!!

Namaste...

I am now on the 2nd of 9 yoga teacher training week-ends and I LOVE it!!!  I have spent much time thinking about how a chubby gal can have any credibility being a yoga teacher.  Lucky for me I found a whole world of curvy yoga teachers online- one of the better things about the interweb- stay away from webMD- I'm just sayin'...

The week-ends consist of -Fridays from 3-9 practice teaching, observations, and adjustments- I was a little freaked out the first week-end because we were seriously all up in each others business- but I got over it!

  Saturday mornings from 9-12 are spent doing 3 hours of yoga- yes 3 hours.  Saturday afternoons are filled with lessons on anatomy- so important- it would be easy to injure someone if you don't know at least some anatomy.  Sunday mornings are again filled with 3 hours of yoga practice and the afternoons consist of studying yoga philosophy.  I love this part because there are so many moral and eternal truths in this beautiful practice:) In addition to the 9 week-ends we are required to have 20 hours of workshop time with master yoga teachers, 20 hours of mentoring under a trained yoga instructor, 6 hours of actual teaching time, at least one class per week at the studio, and a consistent home practice- which means 30-60 minutes 3 to 4 times per week.

One of the things I like the most is that everyone is there for the same reason- they love yoga and want to use that love to learn skills to share with others.  One thing that surprised me was how difficult it is to give the cue's that yoga teachers give.  Everyone was having trouble with that- we were all laughing because we know how to do yoga but not how to tell others how to do yoga!  Plus, this was only the second week-end and we were already teaching each other- scary!!

Also required is a 5 hour meditation course.  There are 5 classes and we do two 20 to 25 minute guided meditations per one hour class.  The first week was horrid!! I could not sit still and it felt torturous- my mind was messing with me big time!! Week two was much better- I was able to sit without too much discomfort and wasn't nearly as wiggly- on the plus side that was the first night I have slept for 5 hours in a row not medicated since July- I don't think it was coincidence:)  I have yet to do any meditation at home but that is also part of our homework- I'm working on it.

It feels so good to do something that means so much to me and is also very challenging physically but especially mentally.  I know I will leave this program with new-found life skills and a better understanding of who I am.  

All of the photo's come from Anna Guest-Jelley's website www.curvyyoga.com

- it is where I get my inspiration to keep on going when I get discouraged!

Politics...

The older I get the more I hate politics.  During the last election year I cancelled my facebook page because of the political comments people were making.  What I find most disturbing is the superiority that people feel toward their political party- regardless of what side you are on.  Here's the thing-

Do you believe you are morally superior because of how you vote?
Do you believe you are in a political party that has better moral values than its opponent?
Do you feel that those who vote opposite of the way you do are less intelligent?
Do you feel that yours is the only party that cares about our country and the rest of the population is bamboozled?
Do you have only one issue that determines your vote?

Most of the time when I read political posts or comments this is the way I feel- there is a sense of I am right and you are wrong.  I have a treasured friend who differs from me in every way politically and yet we are able to have discussions that invigorate the mind and give us both food for thought.  Why? Believe it or not people have actually asked her this:)  Here's the thing- we both respect each other and neither one of us has an agenda to change the other persons mind!! We listen to each other and try to see where the other person is coming from.  I can't help but think if there were more listening and less trying to be right we would be able to solve many of today's troubles. We are so much more alike than different if only we could see it!!

I feel hurt when my intelligence or better yet my testimony of Jesus Christ are called into question because of who I choose to vote for.  I haven't always been what my husband would refer to as a bleeding heart liberal- he says so with only a touch of disgust along with a smile on his face:)  I at one time did think I was somehow superior because of who I voted for or what party I chose to associate myself with.

Frankly, I'm not a fan of any political party.  I'm sure it will disturb many to know that I usually vote based upon the feeling I get from the person- which means I have voted for both of the major parties at different times in my life.  There are a small number of political figures that I feel I would cast a vote for- these figures come from different parties.


I chose to believe that most people care about our country, most people care about their families, most people are trying to do the right thing in life, most people want to be able to take care of their families, and most people when treated with respect will choose to act respectfully.  We just are so use to looking and reporting all the negative that the positive gets lost no matter what party you associate with.

Graduation...

Ryker graduated from The Soma Institute a few weeks ago!! He is now an official massage therapist!  He worked hard and we could not be any happier for him.  It has been a pleasure to watch him find his way in the world and meet his personal goals.  He is always finding new adventures for himself and it is exciting to hear about those things - the latest being a farm internship in upper Michigan.  He has talked about doing something like this for a couple of years- another personal goal met:)

 We were unable to attend his graduation but I was comforted in knowing that our families would be there to celebrate with him.  I love this picture of him with my sister- it makes me feel I was almost there- plus I love the fact that you can tell they are definitely related:)

I love watching our kids blossom and grow into adult people.  I love that the lives they want to live are sometimes so different than our own.  I love that they make me question and think about my own life and the direction is headed.  I especially love that they end up doing things that I would have been afraid to do at their age and even now!!

Baptism...

This kid continues to crack me up on a daily basis.  When I got back from Chicago it seemed as if he grew up overnight.  This could be because he is finally in his own room after 5 years!!  He has been sleeping in the corner of our room in a toddler bed.  Now that Grandma is living in Chicago, Hayden moved into the downstairs bedroom and Jack moved into Hayden's old room.  He had an easy transition- I'm the one who misses him on the nights that Ken is working!!

Marah turned 8 in June and was finally baptized last week!  Usually this happens shortly after their 8th birthday but due to Michael's death and Ken's work schedule we just got around to it now.  She was so excited and not one bit worried about going all the way underwater.  This could be because they have been practicing in the tub:)

She decided to have the Bishop baptized her.  I was surprised because usually my friend's husband does the baptizing in our family- Marah always seems to be surprising me lately- usually with her humor and sarcasm!

It's rough goings getting a family picture around this joint.  One of the pitfalls about getting a nice camera is that there are so many things you can do with it and I forget how to do even the simplest things from one use to the next- which probably means I should be taking more pictures:)

I love this picture- it was really important to Marah that Ken be at her baptism.  I noticed that the two of them became much closer while I was in Chicago.  When you have a bigger family it is just natural that you have an easier relationship with some of the children- these two are definitely finding their way with each other and I love to watch the beauty of that unfolding right before me.

Sisters and truly best friends- to watch their relationship with each other is heartwarming to say the least.  I have spent some time wondering how long this can last but I have decided to just enjoy the beauty of it:) They are always watching out for one another and have such an easy time working out any issues that come up.  It is so cute to go in their room at night and see that they are sleeping practically on top of each other!

Hayden has class on Thursday nights so he wasn't able to join us.  He is enjoying college so far and finds it pretty much a review of things he learned in high school.  He loves his job at Starbucks- they have great benefits and he is making good money!  Ryker is graduating from massage school this Sunday- we are so happy for him and wish we could be there:)  He is a very adventurous soul and we can't wait to hear what is next for him!

My yoga teacher training starts next week-end.  I am excited and nervous- of course, I am still having issues with tingling and burning throughout my body which should make this experience extra fun:)

Tirade...

Grieving is exhausting both mentally and physically.  When you add the anger that is felt when someone you love takes their own life- watch out!!  I have seen an outpouring of Christ-like love and behavior.  People who don't talk about religion but live it- let me give you some examples:
-The lawn service who upon hearing the story of Michael offered to mow my sister's lawn for free for the rest of the summer.
-The day care provider who watches my sister's girls has offered to care for the children free of charge for the whole school year- that is $1400 per month that she is giving up.
-The gift cards, checks, and condolence cards that are still coming in the mail.
-The friends new and old who continue to check in with my sister on a daily basis.
-All of the meals that were brought over.
-Friends coming to take the girls to the park just so my mom and sister can have a break.
-My mom leaving everything behind to go live with my sister and help her raise the girls.
-My brother and his wife doing whatever it is you ask.
-My therapist who no longer takes our insurance but has offered to continue to see me free of charge.
-My husband who didn't blink an eye and took great care of the kids so I could go and be with my family.
-Hayden who packed up all of my mom's stuff- and it was a lot!!

This isn't even everything but it's what is on my mind right now.  Grieving is hard and makes the everyday things even harder.  It has been overwhelming to see all the support my sister has had and to watch her living while grieving.  Some would say what choice does she have but if she took to her bed for awhile no one would blame her so it is her choice every day to get out there and live.  I am proud of her and she inspires me to do the same.

Being angry at someone who is dead is a strange thing.  Sometimes I can't tell if am I angry with events that are happening now or am I just pissed at Michael.  It could be that my tolerance for things that I usually put up with is very low-I'm not quite sure though.

Times of crisis can bring out the best in people and one thing I have noticed is that sometimes it is people who you would never expect that end up being the most giving and supportive.  On the flip side are the people who you thought would be there for you- they just aren't and it is more than a little disappointing.

I believe that we must learn from life otherwise what is it all for.  If we don't all become better because of this  situation it would feel like such a waste.  Thus far one of the things that I will try to do better is to reach out to people who are in crisis.  Whether it be with just a simple card, monetarily, or by going and doing a service for them I will not let fear or worry about doing the wrong thing stand in my way as it has in the past.

I am still having tingling and numbness issues related to anxiety, my left shoulder, upper back, and neck all hurt, I have random crying sprees that leave me with a headache, and the other day I literally could not remember my address for about 30 seconds- SERIOUSLY!!!

Good thing I am seeing Whitney tomorrow!!

Michael...

This is my sister and her family- aren't they beautiful?  Like me, my sister met her husband Michael in high school.  They have been together for 19 years and she is only 36!! On the night of July 4th my sister went to bed around 11pm and when she woke at 2am she found Michael in their garage... he took his own life.  A few months ago Michael went to see a doctor because he felt that he wasn't as happy as he would like to be and thought he may be suffering from mild depression.  After a 20 minute visit with a psychiatrist he had never seen before Michael was prescribed Cymbalta- a medication for major depressive disorder.  He had been taking Cymbalta for less than 2 months- did you know that Cymbalta increases the risk of suicide, did you know that 85% of all Cymbalta related suicides happen in the first 6 to 8 weeks, did you know that in the clinical trial a woman who was using Cymbalta for pain also took her own life, did you know that a man who had been taking Cymbalta and attempted to take his own life, when later questioned could not explain why he attempted suicide and said he had never considered doing it before taking Cymbalta or since coming off Cymbalta, and finally did you know that at the funeral home where Michael's memorial was held the funeral director told us that this was the fourth Cymbalta related suicide they had this year?

Michael has been a part of our lives for a long time.  Not only was he large in stature but he was also large in spirit.  He had a gentle and kind soul.  A spirit that was so giving- he was a high school teacher who specialized in special ed and was recently promoted to Department Chair.  He was a father who was involved and a husband who gave 110%.  Miles have kept our families apart but love always transcends miles:)  I would often marvel at what a well oiled machine Jill and Michael's marriage was.  They worked together so well- the fact that they are both a little OCD may have had something to do with that.  Michael loved music and spent much of his time coaching and mentoring young kids. He loved to cook and by far the best place to sit at the dinner table was near Michael- he was a low talker and always had the funniest things to say but you had to be close to hear!  Michael passed on his love of music and playing the guitar to Hayden. He had a smile that was magical and passed that on to his daughter-Ally.  You only need to look at her to see Michael. Although his life was short, I would have to say he didn't waste a minute.  He was a big guy who lived a big and full life and I miss him.

In the weeks leading up to his death, he and my sister had been planning for their future.  Michael shared with her his dreams of becoming a school superintendent, they spent an afternoon organizing his office in preparation for his new position.  They had a nice vacation together as a family.  He was planning for the upcoming school year with to do lists.  Our family knows with certainty that Michael's death was directly related to taking Cymbalta.  As a family we feel it imperative to share this story in hopes that it will help others.

I have learned so much over the last few weeks.  I have seen the amazing strength my sister has- she is incredible.  She spoke at Michael's memorial and true to form was even able to have humor in the stories she shared.  She has taken control of a situation she wasn't consulted about.  She is grieving and living at the same time.  She has learned to accept help when help is given and to seek help from professionals so she can move forward and be the best mom and person she can.  She has a will to live a life that will again one day be filled with happiness and she is willing to see the tender mercies that have been sent her way during this time.  It is through her strength that the rest of us are finding our own strength.  She is truly amazing-

"Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection-Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.


And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."  Alma 40: 11-12


I know Michael is living in a state of rest and peace and that we will be together again as we will all have to walk through the same door that he did on July 5th.

Joy...

We were so fortunate to be able to go on vacation this past April for a whole month!! Ken had work to do in Florida so we went with him and then headed to Disney- one of the perks about homeschooling is you never have to worry how the school will react when you tell them you are leaving for a month:) We spent an hour and a half waiting in line for this lady- it was hot and Ken was ready to leave after that and that was the first thing we did that day!! Which makes it so appropriate that he had this picture taken with the character that resembles his attitude most of the time- lest you think I am being unkind he is the one that made the comparison I just happened to agree wholeheartedly. I mean come on look at that smile- there is definitely a soul connection there!! While Ken was working we spent our days at the beach. We were literally about 50 feet from the beach in a little beach bungalow that was glorious! The little peeps actually got sick the first day from too much sun- seriously we are in a severe deprivation up here- it is gloomy and cold as I type- and it's JUNE!!! It seems that this time around Ken also found that peaceful happy place at the beach as well. There may be hope for a home near the beach in future somewhere:) We love Animal Kingdom and these guys love getting their faces painted. It was so cool to see actual giraffes, hippos, and lions up close. I really do miss having a large zoo nearby. Of course, it seems this summer that we have moose just about around every corner. I have always been drawn to the idea of having a front stoop which I am now starting to think is interesting considering the fact that my natural instinct is to stay at home away from people. I'm assuming that if one has a front stoop they sit on it and chat with passersby- maybe my inner self is trying to tell me something. By the way if anyone can tell me how to get the I in front of my sentence instead of after the picture you would be saving my sanity!! I love all the shows that they have. They are always phenomenal and so exciting for me since that kind of stuff rarely comes up here. Although, I really don't like big cities I would like to go to New York and spend a week seeing broadway shows- Ken however, would put the kabash on that quickly!! This was for sure one of the highlights- the dolphin experience!! The only negative was that Ken had food poisoning and couldn't join us. Luckily, we had his handy phone with GPS- I hate driving in places I don't know and on crowded highways:) I did have to have a little talk with myself that went something like- get over it lady you are almost 43!!! One of the things about going on vacation so rarely is that when we do go the whole time is spent in awe and gratitude that we actually get to do this stuff. Don't get me wrong we had our moments but overall I just really felt grateful and peaceful- Disney, the beach, and constant sunshine what more could I ask for!!

Jazz Girls...

The girls have been taking Jazz all year and had their recital last week-end. There is so much work that goes into putting on these recitals it is amazing- not to mention the fact that the lessons are on base therefore much less expensive then anywhere off base. Their teacher is wonderful and the girls love her:)

I was the backstage mom again and boy did I get an earful of some of the drama involved with the parents- seriously it was absurd!! I finally told the gal who was telling me all this stuff that after some of the things I've been through this drama is completely unnecessary and that we are so lucky to have this service on base we should help to make it as pleasant as possible. One thing I am grateful for is that after all the trials we have had I appreciate things so much more and stuff that used to drive me insane I now see as unimportant. Ken says it's good to be old:)

I agree although I wouldn't classify us as old!! Ken wasn't able to go to the recital because of work- the girls were pretty bummed. Marah even had a talk with Grandma and let her know she was in charge of getting them flowers since dad usually does it but he had to work- for some reason I found this quite funny.

Graduation...

The long awaited day finally arrived...Hayden's graduation. It has been a long year!! He set a goal at the beginning of the year to not only graduate a year early but also as valedictorian. He made it!! I am so happy for him- he worked long and hard to achieve this goal and it was down to the wire. I am grateful he was able to learn the lesson that hard work really does pay off.

All year he said if he was valedictorian that he wouldn't give the speech but, of course, he did. He did a great job and true to Hayden form it was full of humor:) I love his school and was so impressed with all the graduates. One thing about going to a small school is the closeness that develops between the students and teachers. The care and respect that everyone had for each other was evident in the ceremony. It was beautiful and personal for each graduate.

They have a rose ceremony where each of the graduates gives a rose and a hug to the two people who helped them achieve their goals. All of the kids hugged one or more of the teachers and Hayden came down in the audience and gave me a great hug and a dozen roses. It was magnificent:) I felt extra special because the school forgot to buy the roses but Hayden bought me a dozen so I was the only one who got flowers.

Jack thought he was hilarious when he asked if Ken and I could take a picture together with the roses and pretend we were married. I reminded him that we actually are married but we'd be happy to take the picture:)

I tried to stay present in every moment of tonight and just soak it all in. I am so grateful for the family and children I have been blessed with- I am so grateful for the good in life.

Sand and Surf

We're in Florida!! That is Ken and I and the little peeps are in Florida while Hayden and Grandma hold down the fort at home. It's so great to be at the beach there is something so soothing about those waves and the sand- I haven't been able to replicate the feeling anywhere else.

I haven't been sleeping well which is surprising until I thought about it and realized that this well needed vacation is coming right before some pretty big changes. First, Hayden is graduating and moving out:( I can't believe it and although I'm so excited for him I will miss him so much. Ken is waiting to hear if he will be able to stay at his job for a couple of more years. The Guard is making cuts across the board and although his immediate commander says they are all safe you never know. I feel pretty confident we will have at least one more year in the AK but you never know.

Ryker is graduating from massage school in August!! I'm so happy for him and can't wait to see where his adventurous spirit takes him next! I'm grateful our big boys are growing up and doing well but it is hard letting go. I keep thinking that if we move Hayden will be up in AK and Ryker will in Chicago or maybe Portland- it seems so strange that we would be so far away:(

I'm starting yoga teacher training in September which seems far away but I know how quickly time goes by and it will be here soon. I can't wait!! I'm so excited to train under a teacher who inspires me so much and the timing couldn't be better especially if we end up moving next summer. My dream is to teach yoga in places like womens shelters and facilities for wayward teen girls.

We had the car yesterday and had to go pick up Ken from work. The base was having an exercise so they were extra diligent about checking ID cards. The kids wanted to know what they were doing and I explained that we were going on a side of the base where the spouses don't usually go so they were checking my ID extra carefully. Then Jack said that girls don't work with dad. I informed him that yes they did but they wear uniforms like dad. Then he asked me if they have big, bouncy, boobs like I do...what in the.....

Laugh Your Way...

Military perks are few and far between and we were lucky enough to enjoy one of those perks last week-end. A paid for week-end at the Alyeska Hotel including breakfast, lunch, and $180 worth of gift cards to spend at the hotel!! The catch is you have to attend this Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Seminar. It is 5 sessions of a live seminar on DVD- basically Saturday from 9-3:30 and Sunday 9-noon.

I was shocked when Ken said he wanted to go to this- seriously, so unlike him and then I remembered how he really can't pass up a great deal:) It was very uplifting. This guy is hilarious and he really had some good solid tips. He does this thing called a flag page where you take a little survey of sorts and then you have a flag created for you that tells the top 5 things that motivate you. For example, my number one flag was Great Sense of Humor...I know this is so shocking:)

You also get put into countries according to your answer- Ken and I are from the Peaceful Country. You have an adopted country- mine was the Country of Fun and Ken's was the Country of Perfect. There really is so much to explain but I highly recommend doing this with your spouse. You need a code that you can purchase for $10- totally worth the money. You can also do it for your kids- I wish I knew about this when the boys were little!!

The last session was about forgiveness. The most touching part for me was the end when they had everyone stand and face their spouse. Then they have you repeat things like please forgive me for the times I wasn't the wife you needed, for the times I've hurt you, etc, etc. and both spouses say it to each other. Ken who is always so stoic and at first didn't even want to say the stuff ended up teary eyed and sentimental- I always knew he had it in him:)

We had a great time and I'm so glad the military has this program. There were many couples who were way younger than us and had already been through multiple deployments. We have been so blessed to not have that added stress to life!

We even got in some cross country skiing. It was our first time on ungroomed trails and we did pretty well. We both got in the car dripping with sweat but feeling great! All in all a week-end well spent!!

Current Events...

Hayden's aerodynamic team project made it to nationals and he will be headed to D.C. with 4 other kids from school and two teachers!! They were able to do what the team last year could not and they are pumped:)

These three have been sick the last two weeks! They all came down with a fever within hours of each other. The fever stayed for three days, Jack had to go to the ER for croup, Marah and Jack both got leg cramps from their fevers, and all three of them were coughing for two weeks- it was crazy. As an added bonus that was the same week-end that Ken got his tooth pulled and was in a percoset and motrin haze!

The girls with their new haircuts- they are pretty impressed with themselves:)

There is so much snow we had to get our roof shoveled off. This is the view from our kitchen window. The little peeps think it is magical having their own sledding hill in the backyard.

As an added bonus we will be the only ones in the neighborhood to have a sledding hill in the middle of summer!!

My insides are screaming TAKE ME TO THE BEACH!!

Dedication

Hayden is always asking why I put the weirdest pictures of him in our Shutterfly calendar that we get every year- my response, um hello these are the faces you make when I take your picture!! He has been working on a huge national project with some kids from his school. It involves math- such as sign and cosign-YUCK and lots of aerodynamic things that are beyond me. These kids have shown such dedication- they had to start over just days before it was due because of an error the company that they were working with made. Not only were the students dedicated but the teacher came to school on the week-end and stayed until midnight the day the project was due-seriously who does that?? Here's to hoping they get to go to D.C.!!

On the home front we finally have a fish tank that I can support 100%!!

And this piece of deliciousness...I really sometimes think my heart can't handle the enormous amount of joy he brings me:)

Spaznastics

Kenisms:
spaznastics= gymnastics
fraud meyer= Fred Meyer
Taekwonleap= Taekwondo
bal let= ballet
com in a sarry= commissary and the list goes on!!

The girls love gymnastics and I'm so grateful that our homeschooling program pays for their lessons!! It is their p.e. and gymnastics is very expensive up here. Autumn is one seriously bendy girl!!

Jack is always happy when it's over because they let the siblings play. He has his own skills:)

I see braces in this kids future!! I'm thinking our orthodontist should implement a buy 3 get one free policy- I have my doubts he'll think that's a good idea:)

Marah's favorite is the uneven bars which is a surprise to me since she is scared of just about everything!!

I can only imagine Ken was saying something quite humorous to get those smiles!!