Michael...

This is my sister and her family- aren't they beautiful?  Like me, my sister met her husband Michael in high school.  They have been together for 19 years and she is only 36!! On the night of July 4th my sister went to bed around 11pm and when she woke at 2am she found Michael in their garage... he took his own life.  A few months ago Michael went to see a doctor because he felt that he wasn't as happy as he would like to be and thought he may be suffering from mild depression.  After a 20 minute visit with a psychiatrist he had never seen before Michael was prescribed Cymbalta- a medication for major depressive disorder.  He had been taking Cymbalta for less than 2 months- did you know that Cymbalta increases the risk of suicide, did you know that 85% of all Cymbalta related suicides happen in the first 6 to 8 weeks, did you know that in the clinical trial a woman who was using Cymbalta for pain also took her own life, did you know that a man who had been taking Cymbalta and attempted to take his own life, when later questioned could not explain why he attempted suicide and said he had never considered doing it before taking Cymbalta or since coming off Cymbalta, and finally did you know that at the funeral home where Michael's memorial was held the funeral director told us that this was the fourth Cymbalta related suicide they had this year?

Michael has been a part of our lives for a long time.  Not only was he large in stature but he was also large in spirit.  He had a gentle and kind soul.  A spirit that was so giving- he was a high school teacher who specialized in special ed and was recently promoted to Department Chair.  He was a father who was involved and a husband who gave 110%.  Miles have kept our families apart but love always transcends miles:)  I would often marvel at what a well oiled machine Jill and Michael's marriage was.  They worked together so well- the fact that they are both a little OCD may have had something to do with that.  Michael loved music and spent much of his time coaching and mentoring young kids. He loved to cook and by far the best place to sit at the dinner table was near Michael- he was a low talker and always had the funniest things to say but you had to be close to hear!  Michael passed on his love of music and playing the guitar to Hayden. He had a smile that was magical and passed that on to his daughter-Ally.  You only need to look at her to see Michael. Although his life was short, I would have to say he didn't waste a minute.  He was a big guy who lived a big and full life and I miss him.

In the weeks leading up to his death, he and my sister had been planning for their future.  Michael shared with her his dreams of becoming a school superintendent, they spent an afternoon organizing his office in preparation for his new position.  They had a nice vacation together as a family.  He was planning for the upcoming school year with to do lists.  Our family knows with certainty that Michael's death was directly related to taking Cymbalta.  As a family we feel it imperative to share this story in hopes that it will help others.

I have learned so much over the last few weeks.  I have seen the amazing strength my sister has- she is incredible.  She spoke at Michael's memorial and true to form was even able to have humor in the stories she shared.  She has taken control of a situation she wasn't consulted about.  She is grieving and living at the same time.  She has learned to accept help when help is given and to seek help from professionals so she can move forward and be the best mom and person she can.  She has a will to live a life that will again one day be filled with happiness and she is willing to see the tender mercies that have been sent her way during this time.  It is through her strength that the rest of us are finding our own strength.  She is truly amazing-

"Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection-Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.


And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow."  Alma 40: 11-12


I know Michael is living in a state of rest and peace and that we will be together again as we will all have to walk through the same door that he did on July 5th.