I used to feel bad about this- not anymore!! I've learned to manage The Tude better- it's hard when you're younger and hormones and emotions run rampant:) The Tude is what makes us each hate being told what to do, it makes our skin crawl when we know we are not standing in our own truth, it is what keeps us fighting for equality among all people, it is what lets us be ourselves in spite of what other people in our lives want, it is what drives us to continue learning and taking care of ourselves when so often we are taught to forget ourselves and take care of others- to be clear I'm not against taking care of others but self-care is a must and it is not selfish!!! Finally, I think this Tude is what gets us up when all we want to do is stay down.
It is interesting raising children with this same Tude- and easy to recognize when I see it in behaviors that drive me crazy:) I am grateful for this because I don't want to be a person who follows whatever other people want nor do I want this for my children- even when the person doing the wanting is me. I'm proud of each of them for following their own hearts even when I don't always understand the way they are going.
I plan to fill my reserves of living a truthful and joyful life this year by practicing gratitude. That is gratitude as a verb not a noun. That means that even in the darkest of times I find some one thing to be grateful for- no matter how small or ordinary. I believe it is in the ordinary that our true happiness lies and it is our job to hold onto that when life seems to be throwing us crap storm after crap storm. I have had enough crap storms for awhile but somehow I don't think that is going to stop them from coming so I will cling to practicing gratitude for the times when I will need it the most.
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